Sometimes we mistakenly think that to really be an energizer, we have to be extraverted. This isn't entirely accurate. You can probably think of someone who is very outgoing who doesn't energize you at all--in fact, he might consistently drain your energy!
The key is not in extraversion, but in having an external focus--in other words, caring enough to notice others and their needs. When we cultivate a sensitivity to others, we have a tendency to be inclusive, compassionate, supportive, and appreciative. These qualities invite an open dialogue where all points of view can be expressed and discussed.
This external focus also allows true leaders to instruct, intervene, and correct when necessary. They've built a cushion of positive interactions, and because their focus is on the success and happiness of others, they have an increased capacity to be effective.
One other thought. This external focus shouldn't be confused with what deeply motivates and directs us. I'll discuss this in another post, but we can and should be directed not by external events and people, but by a deep connection to guiding principles and morals.
I love this. Sometimes I feel like the people that are most highly valued in a lot of situations are the extraverts. It bothers me sometimes because my husband and all of his family are not. He's the closest to being one, but he's not really an extravert either. However, he energizes me and that's because at least with me and with our children as well he is very externally focused. He's extremely sensitive to how I'm feeling and very supportive when I've chosen a goal. Everyone who keeps their focus outward, whether introvert or extravert is capable of energizing others and themselves at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. This is a great topic of discussion. To combat what I call the "look at me" tendency, in my work with youth theater we have developed a method for performance and life called PLAY THEORY. It consists of 4 principles; be 100% present, let go & play, say "yes and" and last "Look Outward". It works in improvisational theater, scripted scenes and everyday life. The ability to "Look outward" really is the product of the first 3 principles: ie we can't look outwards towards others if we aren't fully present with them.
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