Case of a Deenergizing Exchange

Let's say my friend Shawn has been planning to hold a meeting in the conference room.  He's made the arrangements and communicated with everyone who regularly uses the conference room.  When he enters the room for his meeting, Carol is there, and says that she'll be 20 minutes over.  Shawn says, "I'm sorry, Carol, but we need to begin our meeting now, and you indicated in your email that you would be willing to move at this time."  Visibly upset, Carol says, "This is very unprofessional, and unfair to my clients, who need to see some consistency from this organization." 

Most of us would recognize that this is not a positive interaction.  But what has happened to each person's energy after the interchange?  We might describe each of them as energized during the interaction as their emotions make them defend their positions.  However, the very specific kind of energy that generates lasting positive results is the energy that an individual feels after an interaction.  Both Carol and Shawn are drained after their emotions settle, and their abilities to perform are diminished.  Additionally, without some kind of reparations, each are now likely to avoid the other in the future, unless work responsibilities require them to interact.

One interaction doesn't necessarily define a person as deenergizing.  But over time and many interactions, patterns emerge, and each of us knows who we are most likely to want to have an interaction with in any group or organization.  Extend this over the network, and we'll find pockets of mutually energizing relationships, filled with energizers, and the most productive areas of an organization.